Although he didn’t say a word, his eyes seemed to be pleading, “Why?” No trace of a smile ever flickered across his face. When he sank into a chair in the corner of the classroom, all he could do was bury his head in his hands.

He’d just found out his parents were getting divorced.

“The idea that you’re supposed to leave your problems at the classroom door doesn’t work at times like this,” said Gene Folsom, who coordinates the Social Emotional Learning for the Future (SELF) Center at SCC’s middle school. “We take a different approach.”

Since the fall of 2019, the SELF Center has provided a safe, welcoming place where kids from fourth through eighth grade can form connections with trusted adults and learn to manage the stress in their lives more effectively.

-Messenger photo by Darcy Dougherty Maulsby
Along with traditional chairs, the Social Emotional Learning for the Future Center at the South Central Calhoun Middle School in Rockwell City includes balance ball chairs. These help students who are struggling to sit still at school. The students can move and balance on these chairs, which helps them focus.

Students can voluntarily choose to come to the SELF Center, where the staff includes Folsom; Deb (Fouts) Bohn, SELF Center assistant coordinator; and Candace Trenary, a school-based youth services worker from the Spencer-based Seasons Center for Behavioral Health. Sometimes students are referred to the SELF Center by their teachers.

During a recent school day, a girl was sent to the SELF Center after getting into trouble in art class. One boy came to the SELF Center to vent his frustrations about a tough science test he just took. A girl who stopped in not long after him starting crying as she told Bohn how she felt someone in school had betrayed her trust.

Another eighth-grader was in good spirits when he came by to say hi to the teachers and work on a puzzle before heading to his next class.

“Sometimes kids just need a place to take a break or have a quiet place to study, while other kids are really hurting when they come in here,” Folsom said. “A lot of kids depend on the SELF Center.”

ACES create toxic stress

-Messenger photo by Darcy Dougherty Maulsby
Since the fall of 2019, the Social Emotional Learning for the Future (SELF Center) at South Central Calhoun Middle School in Rockwell City has provided a safe, welcoming place where kids from fourth through eighth grade can form connections with trusted adults and learn to manage the stress in their lives more effectively. Here, Gene Folsom, a teacher who coordinates the SELF Center, listens to students' fears about online bullying, divorce in the family and more.

The SELF Center reflects a homegrown solution to a pressing need.

“In the past five years, we were seeing more kids acting out or withdrawing and becoming isolated in school,” said Superintendent Jeff Kruse. “These disruptive behaviors are often a symptom of trauma in these kids’ lives.”

Traumatic events occurring before age 18 are called adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACEs include all types of abuse and neglect, as well as parental mental illness, substance use, divorce, incarceration and domestic violence.

A landmark study in the 1990s found a significant relationship between the number of ACEs a person experienced and a variety of negative outcomes in adulthood, including poor physical and mental health, substance abuse and risky behaviors.

“People who experienced adverse childhood events also lost years off their lives,” Kruse said.

-Messenger photo by Darcy Dougherty Maulsby
Helping students understand their feelings plays a key role in helping them learn to better manage their behavior and become more resilient. Students at the Social Emotional Learning for the Future Center at South Central Calhoun Middle School in Rockwell City can use this "I'm in a Mood" chart to communicate what emotion they're feeling.

A difficult childhood reduces life expectancy by 20 years among adults who experienced six or more particular types of abuse or household dysfunction as kids, according to a 10-year study from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Adverse experiences either make kids more resilient, or they cave,” Kruse said. “We wanted to find a way to help kids become more resilient.”

Learning from other educators

In his quest to find practical answers, Kruse read the book “Culterize” by Jimmy Casas, a former Bettendorf High School principal who is an adjunct professor at Drake University in Des Moines, where he teaches a graduate course in educational leadership. Casas advises schools on ways to cultivate kindness, honesty and compassion while meeting and exceeding academic standards.

Kruse was also intrigued when the Area Education Agency brought Jim Sporleder to speak in Iowa. After learning about stress’s devastating effects on the developing brain, Sporleder knew he’d stumbled on a key to help his students at Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, Washington, overcome their destructive behavior patterns.

Sporleder emphasizes the importance of students connecting with at least one caring adult at school. This philosophy, which is featured in the 2015 documentary ”Paper Tigers,” has contributed to dramatic improvements in graduation rates and other key metrics at Lincoln High School and other schools.

Kruse looked for Iowa schools that had implemented something similar. SCC staff traveled to northeast Iowa to learn how the Waverly-Shell Rock school district was changing the way teachers respond to students’ behavior and help kids learn how to manage their emotions.

South Central Calhoun adapted many of these ideas to create the SELF Center. Along with the traditional three “R’s” of education (reading, writing, arithmetic), SCC teachers and staff are also helping students learn to become more resilient.

“We can help students achieve more by focusing on three more ‘R’s:’ relationships, relationships, relationships,” Kruse said.

‘These kids are

remarkable’

Creating a culture where every child feels valued and understood helps inspire achievement.

“We want to make sure every student can connect to at least one caring adult at school, whether that’s a teacher, school bus driver, cook or custodian,” Folsom said.

At the SELF Center, building relationships means asking students how their day is going and listening to their answers. It means digging deeper to find out what’s going in a student’s life when he writes a note that says, “I smile even though I’m hurting inside.” It means taking the next steps (like reaching out to Anne Reiter, SCC’s school-based therapist) if a student says she’s suicidal.

Sometimes kids learn from each other at the SELF Center. When some eighth-grade girls opened up about how much they hate their appearance each time they look in the mirror, the SELF Center staff explained that many people experience body-image issues. They also stressed the importance of building each other up. The message really hit home, however, when a popular eighth-grade boy admitted he didn’t like his appearance either, Folsom said.

The SELF Center approach is working, Kruse noted. The number of students referred to the principal’s office has gone down, while students’ grades and self-confidence have gone up.

“These kids are remarkable,” Folsom said. “In my 17 years of teaching, I’ve never felt like I’ve made as much of a positive difference in students’ lives as I am at the SELF Center.”