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A harmonious plate

Dear Annie

Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from “Kitchen Confidential” who had feelings regarding her partner’s unhealthy food choices in comparison to her own. I am 68 and have lived a vegan lifestyle for nearly 15 years. My husband is 71 and a huge meat and cheese fan. He will often eat the healthy foods that I cook, and later in the evening fry up a slab of ham.

At least I know he has had something nutritious when he eats what I cook. I have never made his food choices a battleground, and we respect each other’s right to eat the way we want. We often find humor in our food choice differences, and he frequently brags about my eating lifestyle to his friends. He, however, is not interested in converting to a lifestyle of plant-based eating.

“Kitchen Confidential” may want to consider cooking several healthy, tasty meals each week that would appeal to her partner if she is that concerned about his food choices. Then she could be thankful if he eats them with her. I find you can’t change people’s opinions about food (or a lot of other things!), but it is up to them to decide what they want to do. — Make Mine Veggies

Dear Make Mine Veggies: I am printing your letter because you touch on two great points. One, people can’t force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. Change must come from within. And two, you have healthy eating habits and that, by so doing, you have set a great example for your husband. Joking about food choices is wonderful, too, especially because your husband is proud of your vegan lifestyle. Laughter promotes good health.

Dear Annie: Now and then, I used to stop by a fast-food place when out shopping. It had an excellent salad bar. One day, I was walking around it, adding things to my plate when a mother carrying a baby and accompanied by a little girl of 4 or 5 walked by, heading for a table. The little girl said, “I want salad.” The mother snapped, “You’re too short.” I saw them sitting at a table later with burgers, fries and milkshakes. Mom was overweight and didn’t need the extra calories. She was in a bad mood.

I’ve thought that I should have offered to help the little girl or watch the baby who was in a carrier that she had placed on the table, but thought it best not to interfere. I sometimes wonder if the little girl ever got a salad when she grew taller. — Observer in Connecticut

Dear Observer: It can be a difficult thing to watch a little girl be put down by her own mother. One can only hope that she got her salad — if not that night, then later. As for interfering, I can see the mom responding both ways — being appreciative that you could help the little girl get a salad or being resentful that you butted into a family dinner. You probably did the right thing by staying quiet. Though it’s easy to make snap judgments, you never know what’s happening behind the scenes or what type of day this mom had before you saw her. A little compassion goes a long way.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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