“Marge has been a consistent presence for many, many years,” said Emily Easton, recruitment and retention coordinator at Four Oaks. “She has cared for so many children of so many different ages over the years and has really been one of our go-to families. She is just amazing.”

“Marge is an awesome lady,” added Caren Brunsvold, supervisor of support workers at Four Oaks. “She’s been doing foster care for 50 years, which is longer than a lot of the workers have been alive. This is such a big milestone that we wanted to celebrate and honor her for the work that she is doing.”

Flannery isn’t sure specifically how many children she’s provided care for as she said data wasn’t kept in the 1970s and 1980s, but it’s “estimated to be in the thousands.”

“I’m a grandma to many,” said Flannery. “I get graduation announcements and phone calls. Some I remember and some I don’t. Many call me grandma still, and it’s an honor.”

-Messenger photo by Kelli Bloomquist
Marge Flannery was honored Monday evening by Four Oaks Foster Care and Adoption for having served as a foster parent for 50 years.

Flannery started foster parenting at the urging of her late husband, Larry, who she said was her rock behind the scenes.

“I remember once he said to me ‘that consequence didn’t resonate’ for that child,” said Flannery. “How you parent a child with trauma is completely different, and Larry helped me to think about how best to approach things,” said Flannery. “He did a lot behind the scenes. I couldn’t have done it without him.”

After losing her husband 14 years ago, Flannery continued foster parenting, although she now prefers to take teenagers into her home rather than babies.

“I haven’t met a child that I can’t take care of,” said Flannery. “It’s about care and structure. I’m very structured and very exact, and I’ve found that if I communicate with the child what I want then they won’t disappoint. They want consistency.”

Flannery said that she also parents much like her mother did to her and her eight siblings.

“Marge can parent any type of child with lots of different needs because she has so much experience and understanding of trauma and the backgrounds of children in foster care situations,” added Easton.

According to many in attendance Monday evening, Flannery has not only helped children in foster care, but provided mentorship to many staff and social workers.

“When I came into the field, I was one that Marge took under her wing and mentored,” said Peggy Sells, who has served as a social worker in Fort Dodge for 36 years. “I learned from Marge when I started out as far as the kids that we shared and they were on my caseload. Just watching her and learning from her as a role model was unbelievable.”

Throughout her five decades of providing care, Flannery has seen Iowa’s foster care system and even state laws change drastically. Flannery noted that in the 1980s, before a baby could be adopted, it had to be temporarily placed into a foster home because the biological father could not sign away his rights until the baby was born. During this time, she noted that she had at least 30 newborns in her home.

“I had a new baby all the time in the 1980s,” said Flannery. “I loved it. That was the highlight of my life.”

Now, she said children coming into foster care are tougher than they should have to be because of the trauma they’ve experienced.

“It used to be that the state would take children too soon,” said Flannery. “Now I worry that they leave them there too long. There is so much hurt.”

According to Easton, foster parents like Flannery are greatly needed locally as well as in every region in Iowa.

“We have 35% more children being referred to us than we have licensed families,” said Easton. “Last week we had 146 children waiting for foster homes just on that one day, and that changes day to day. The need is great. We need more adults and families willing to provide foster care.”

While accepting her award for five decades of service, Flannery told a room of foster parents and those in-training to continue loving the children.

“Keep doing the hard work,” said Flannery. “It’s necessary, and it’s worth it. I’ve had a great life. I’ve loved staying home. I love the work that I do. I love the children. I love it.”