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Reworking the language of women

Earlier today, I was talking to a friend I’ve known for more than two decades when, twice, she prefaced her opinion with, “I feel.” The third time she shared an opinion, she began with, “I think.” “Why do you do that?” I said. “I asked for your thoughts. I know it’s you speaking. Why preface your opinions with a disclaimer. Women do this all the time. Men almost never do that.” Fortunately, my friend loves me, even when I’m like this. “We were talking about jackets,” she said. “I didn’t think you—.” She paused, and recalibrated. “I don’t need ...

An ode to all fathers

Dear Readers: Below are just a few of the very touching and beautiful tributes you submitted for Fathers Day. It was so nice to read about all of the love, gratitude and humor you expressed about your fathers. Happy Father’s Day. Dear Annie: My 94-year-old father, Fred Koenig, has been writing poetry for many years. We have printed a book of his poems that we have found up till 2017 and are hoping to print another for his 95th birthday. One of his poems is for Father’s Day (He also has one for Mother’s Day and one especially for our mother.) This is his tribute to fathers: F ...

US is showing renewed enthusiasm for economic warfare

PARIS — Under U.S. President Donald Trump, we’re increasingly seeing warfare being boiled down to its essence: economics. Let’s face it: All warfare involving America has an economic impetus. If national security was really the primary consideration, there would be fewer wars, and they’d end more quickly. The idea of having to go to the other side of the planet to eradicate terrorists so they don’t come to America is nonsense. If you don’t want terrorists to come, don’t let them in. And if terrorist eradication was the real objective, the mission would involve ...

Assumptions disrupt friendship

Dear Annie: I have known one of my friends, “Pam,” for more than 50 years, and at times she has been a very good friend. She and her husband introduced me to my now-ex-husband and were both in my wedding party. Last year, I had a disagreement with a mutual friend, “Sharon.” Quite frankly, I thought Sharon was in the wrong, but I decided her friendship was more important than who was right and who was wrong. I apologized to Sharon and took the blame. When we all had our 50th high school reunion recently, Pam hung out with Sharon and only briefly said hello to me, though her ...

Finding people to fill empty spaces

A tiny French mountain village with a long name, L’Hospitalet-pres-l’Andorre, has lost half its population over three decades, according to the French newspaper Le Monde. Its name in English would be “The Hospital Near Andorra.” (Andorra is a small principality shoehorned between France and Spain.) The village can tick off the losses. First the customs office closed, causing the five families whom it supported to leave. (The village’s economy mainly depended on the town’s location on the road to Andorra and some tourism in the Pyrenees mountains.) Other jobs were erased ...

Moving out and moving on

Dear Annie: I lived with my husband for 50 years. We met spontaneously, and I moved in with him soon afterward. He was different from the norm. He was smart, always outgoing and had many great friends. I fell deeply in love. We got married after a few years together and began to build our careers in businesses, where we both became respected and successful in our fields. Over those years, we also partied excessively, and hung out with people who would eventually end up in prison. We moved beyond our youthful acts and raised a family. But he never stopped bragging about his earlier, ...