Snore more teasing
By Annie Lane
Dear Annie: Growing up, my siblings and I would make fun of my mom’s snoring all the time. To be fair, the noise seemingly could wake the dead; she sounded like she was sawing logs every night. Her snoring became one of our favorite family jokes, and to this day it’s brought up on a pretty regular basis.
Recently, I discovered that my mom almost didn’t go on a trip to Italy with a group of friends because she was scared that no one would be able to stay in her room because of her snoring. And this fear has contributed to some serious insomnia. I hadn’t realized the extent of her anxiety around the topic until learning that.
And now I feel really guilty for all the times I’ve made fun of her. Now when I tell her it’s not that bad, she doesn’t believe me. Annie, I don’t know how to make up for years of teasing my mom without being able to turn back the clock. — Restless Nights
Dear Restless Nights: It doesn’t do anyone any good to feel guilty while dwelling on past regrets. What’s done is done. When you know better, you do better, and it sounds like you now realize that teasing your mom about snoring was not a helpful thing to do. But clearly you already know that because you are writing to me about it. Say sorry and make amends. Instead of focusing on what you did wrong in the past, tell your mother about all those things that she did right during your childhood.
Praising her and building her up could help alleviate some of the anxiety. If snoring is truly preventing your mom from having fun with friends, encourage her to seek professional help. There are doctors who have become experts on techniques to limit snoring, and it sounds like she would be grateful for any help she can get.
Dear Annie: “Stylish” wrote to you for advice because her mentor suggested that she dress in a stylish manner at all times, and she said she could not afford expensive clothes. You made several suggestions, and I am writing to offer one more. “Stylish” could check out some of the available how-to books on wardrobe planning. If “Stylish” knows how to sew, or is motivated to learn, she would find that making her own clothes can also be affordable. — Sew It Yourself
Dear Sew It Yourself: What a great suggestion! Sewing has many benefits, and you can learn at any age. Sewing has been known to fight dementia because it requires remembering and working through many steps, which keeps the brain active. To sew, you need to think creatively, which improves the brain’s ability to grow new brain cells and strengthens neural pathways that might otherwise degenerate. Because it requires such attention to detail, sewing improves hand-eye coordination. Sewing can also help reduce stress. When you concentrate on one particular task when sewing, it can feel almost like a moving meditation, allowing you to unwind. Lastly, sewing promotes feelings of joy and satisfaction for creating something from scratch. Thank you so much for reminding all of us of this wonderful alternative.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.