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Writing to Santa 101: The Messenger is helping out this year

“Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.”

He spends his time at the North Pole where he supervises a workforce of highly trained elves.

Santa delivers the toys they make to children on Christmas Eve using a sleigh that, for one brief evening, gets a special dispensation from the known laws of physics.

This allows him to fly the reindeer-powered thing, enter homes through chimneys, bypass some of the world’s most sophisticated home security systems, fly through the heavily restricted airspace above Area 51 and eat 6,893,897,967 cookies with 1.3 million gallons of healthy, wholesome, Vitamin D-added skim milk.

This year, Santa has had to expand his workforce a bit since toys have gotten much more sophisticated and require more elf time. After all, it’s not easy to make integrated computer circuits under Arctic conditions.

Therefore, he’s enlisted help of The Messenger, The Daily Freeman-Journal and Consumer Weekly.

No, Santa has not tasked the staffs with manufacturing toys. Instead, he’s asked them to help take delivery of — and forward to him — the many letters from local children. You see, Santa wants to make sure that each child gets just the right gift.

In fact, some letters for Santa have already arrived at The Messenger.

Reporter Peter Kaspari was tasked with reading some of the letters and typing them into the computer system so they can be published. As an experienced journalist, Kaspari enjoyed reading the works of other writers.

“These kids are really pretty good writers,” he said.

Messenger City Editor Bill Shea had the task of proofreading the letters, much as he edits the work of his own team of reporter elves with his Iron Fist of Facts.

“I really didn’t have to do much,” he said. “I think the letters are reasonable, have all the facts right and, for the most part, answer all the important questions, the key one being ‘what do I want for Christmas?'”

Shea said several of the letters might require some further looking into.

“It’s not quite Watergate,” he said, “but I think there might be one or two claims of ‘I’ve been good’ that we’re going to look into. I see a potential Pulitzer.”

Shea even contributed his own letter.

“I asked Santa for a Pennsylvania Railroad O Scale GG-1 locomotive,” he said, “with a big loop of track and a depot.”

This reporter has even gotten in on the action.

He’s been stalking locations where he believes Santa might make an early appearance, to hear from local children in person.

“I have it on good authority that Santa is going to arrive at the Crossroads Mall on Dec. 8,” he muttered from under the focusing hood of his ancient view camera. “My sources tell me 10 a.m. and that it will involve a horse-drawn sleigh. I plan on having some of the Creative Cakes cookies.”

He and Santa have had an ongoing battle of wits for decades. He spends Christmas Eve in a lawn chair in his yard trying to get a picture of Santa landing on the roof. Even using his largest, most powerful lens, so far he’s failed.

“I tend to doze off at the wrong time. When I wake up, I’m cold, the camera batteries are dead and I have nothing but a bad picture of our roof. I’m going to try it with a film camera this year.”

Santa said he greatly appreciates the help from the three publications.

“It’s really great to have the help,” Santa said. “I really like it when my paper arrives and I get to read all the letters. I’ll bet all the parents and grandparents enjoy it too.”

Santa, like reporters, has deadlines.

“You need to make sure your letters get there by Dec. 7,” he said. “We need to make sure there’s enough time to get them to the North Pole. It’s a long ways up here and the Canadian postal system is notoriously slow; they use dog sleds for the last 568 miles.”

There’s a potential prize too.

“I’ve made sure that there’s a $25 gift card stashed in the super-secure vault at The Messenger,” Santa said. “Every good boy and girl, even the naughty list ones, who write a letter will be entered in a drawing for it.”

Speaking of the naughty list, Santa addressed the issue of how it’s possible to get transferred to the “good” list.

“Everyone has plenty of good in them,” he said. “You just have to let it out and show it to people.”

The letters from Santa will be published in The Messenger and Daily Freeman-Journal on Dec. 21 and in the Consumer News on Dec. 19.

The Messenger can also accept letters by the new-fangled communications method of email.

“I’m still learning how to use my flip phone; I’m 500 years old, the elves have to help me even with that,” Santa said. “However, those fine folks in Iowa are going to make sure that I get the digital letters to read. Send them to northpole@messengernews.net or, if you’re like me, and still enjoy actual letters, send them to The Messenger, 713 Central Ave. Fort Dodge, IA 50501. Make sure you write c/o Santa Claus on the envelope.”

Editor Jane Curtis is supervising The Messenger newsroom staff during “Operation Santa Letters.” Oversight is sorely needed.

“I don’t care what these guys might be telling you — and I know reporter Chad Thompson had something to do with this — I am not going to dress up my cats in Christmas-themed costumes this year. Yes, I have Christmas costumes for my cats, but I’m not dressing them up this year.”

“I am going to be too busy helping get these letters to Santa on time. That is my priority.”

Reporter Joe Sutter has managed to avoid most of the fray.

“You guys are ridiculous,” he said.

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