As a child in Richmond, Va., in the 1960s, Alexander Robinson lived with the realities of racism.
Though legal segregation was in the process of being dismantled, the difference between white and black still dictated people's actions, said Robinson.
"There was the idea that, if you knew your place, you could get along," he said. "My parents, being rather conservative, as they were, trained me to act appropriately."
Such conformity to narrowly defined expectations is limiting - and ultimately detrimental to society, said Robinson, executive director of the National Black Justice Coalition.
Founded in 2003, the NBJC is an organization dedicated to empowering black lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and allies who work to promote same-sex marriage rights.
Robinson addressed an audience of seven Tuesday at Citizens Central in Fort Dodge, as part of a statewide tour to discuss civil marriage equality.
"We all experience that feeling of being different at some point in our lives," he said. "Imagine feeling that for most of your life."
Such was the case for Robinson, he said.
"I grew up knowing I was different," said Robinson.
Eventually, Robinson came out as a homosexual - after marrying and having a son.
The revelation also cost him his relationship with his mother and father, Robinson said.
"My mother and I never reconciled," he said.
Earlier this year, Robinson reconnected with his father after a 27-year estrangement, he said.
However, the reconciliation hinges upon not talking about Robinson's sexual orientation, he said.
Robinson said he hopes parents broaden their discussions with children to address such issues.
"The isolation and stigma are very real," he said. "Until we change that ... we will continue to undermine some of our most important assets."
On April 3, a unanimous decision by the state Supreme Court ruled that an Iowa law defining marriage as between only one man and one woman violated the equal protection clause of the state constitution.
Robinson's stop in Fort Dodge was organized by An Independence Movement for Iowa, a political networking group created by former Iowa Rep. Ed Fallon. The event was co-sponsored by several groups, including the Fort Dodge Human Rights Commission and the Webster County Cultural Diversity Team.
Fallon said he has received communication from people who "feel more excited about being in Iowa" in the wake of the same-sex ruling - which, according to Fallon, promotes an image of Iowa as being increasingly tolerant and inclusive.
Iowa is one of four states that allows same-sex marriage, along with Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont.
"It's not lost on anyone that this happened in the middle of the country in a bellwether state," he said. "Folks think of the New England states as more progressive-thinking."
As such, legalization of same-sex marriage therein can be discounted as a side-effect of overall liberalism, according to Robinson.
The Iowa decision signals momentum in the direction of equality, he said.
"Being very realistic, opponents can see the same momentum," Robinson said. "They're gearing up to make this a big fight."
In framing the argument, Robinson said it is important to draw the distinction between religious and civil marriage.
"We don't make decisions based on religious beliefs about civil institutions," he said. "You don't have to make a change in your religious beliefs to say I should be treated justly in civil society."
Contact Jesse Helling at (515) 573-2141 or jhelling@messengernews.net
