Caring in the final days
Hospice volunteer Kim Cockrum-Rolfes does ‘whatever they need’By ANGELA BURCH Messenger staff writer
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Kim Cockrum-Rolfes got a firsthand experience with hospice care when she lost her first husband. Her one experience with the care provided has led to nearly 14 years of helping others through their final days.
After she and her husband Dan Cockrum came home to their then-home in Osage from the Mayo Clinic, the doctors gave him one week to live.
"My husband had lung cancer and when he died in 1986, hospice was there for us," she said. "When we came home from Rochester and opened the door, there was a male hospice volunteer there waiting there for us. We didn't even know what hospice was and we didn't know he was going to be there."
Although the hospice worker only made one visit to their home because Dan Cockrum died six days later, the way hospice was there for them was something to stick in Cockrum-Rolfes' mind.
"When he was sick, he told me if he lives, he's going to be with hospice," she said. "And I said, if not, I was going to. I had no clue what hospice was for, but I just knew I wanted to be a part of this for someone else since they were there for us."
She has been a volunteer with Trinity Hospice Care since 1995. She tells countless tales of people and families she has been with through the darkest of days. She does not have one specific job description, but rather, "you just do whatever they want you to do - whatever they need."
As a volunteer, Cockrum-Rolfes goes to the homes of hospice patients as well as work with patients in the newly opened Paula J. Baber Hospice Home. She does anything from read to the person to answer any questions he or she may have about the dying process. Once, she picked out a couple of outfits for a lady to choose from to wear at her funeral. She gives the care-givers breaks when they need one and makes sure the patient is as comfortable as possible.
"Sometimes I write letters or cards or a poem for loved ones to read after the person dies, whatever they want their loved ones to know," she added.
As far as hospice, Nadine Schlienz, clinical manager for the Paula J. Baber Hospice Home, said the volunteers are vital parts of the program.
"We try to present the concept that we work as a team, so the nurses, social workers, pharmacists, chaplains, home care aides and by having just a huge group of people from all different disciplines, we hope to address the needs of people who are dying," Schlienz said. "And the volunteers are a huge piece in accomplishing that."
While Cockrum-Rolfes said she finds great joy in her work as a volunteer, she said some parts of it are tough.
"I thought at first I could never have a male patient because of my husband dying, and it took me awhile to get one. Then I had one and I know why I had him," she said. "He was the same age as my husband and he had questions before he died on what there was for his wife after he died and what he needed to do before he died to prepare her and their daughter."
From her life experiences and her faith, Cockrum-Rolfes said she was able to relate with the man and hopefully bring him peace in his dying days.
But above all else, it's not just what she can do for others, Cockrum-Rolfes said being a volunteer with hospice gives her a feeling unlike any other.
"I just feel honored. It is such an honor to be a volunteer and to be there in their last days, their last hours, their last minutes," she said. "And to be a part of it - it is just unbelievable."
Contact Angela Burch at (515) 573-2141 or aburch@messengernews.net
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Maryjane
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01-19-09 11:54 AM
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We had hospice care during my mother's final days on earth, and it made all the difference. What a wonderful way to help others, and this is something not everyone could do. Thank you to Kim and all the volunteers and staff!
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