That password is taken

So I thought I’d sign up for Medicare today before I came to the office.

First, I decided to create an online Social Security personal page. It went something like this:

“Enter your user name.”

Jane Curtis

“Do not use your name.”

OK. How about She Retires? The website gave me the green light to go forward and create a password. So I plugged in a password.

“Re-enter your password.”

I re-entered it.

“Your passwords do not match.”

Right. I re-entered the passwords.

Given the green light, I moved on.

“Select a challenge question. Mother’s middle name, father’s middle name, or the neighbor up one block across the street whose music is too loud.”

I really do not like Barry Mantilow.

“Select a second challenge question: The make of your first car, the month of your first car accident, that time you drove away without paying for gas , the variety of chicken being raised in that chicken house you backed into on your family farm when you first learned to drive.

Those were white chickens, weren’t they?

“Third challenge question: Remember in seventh grade when that girl held up a sign in science class to let you know you had a run in your hose? Who was her aunt? Alternate choice: In high school, there was a soda pop vending machine in the cafeteria with a sticker on it telling who to call if the machine was out of order. What was the 10-digit number to call? And did you ever call it to prank the service man by asking ‘Do you have Prince Albert in a can?’ and then hang up? Be honest.”

515-555-5555

“Be honest.”

Yes.

“Bonus challenge question: In what hospital were you born and in what phase of the moon?”

Full.

“Hit enter if you have completed your entries.”

I hit enter.

“Your user name is already taken.”

I retire

“Your user name is already taken.”

Retirements are us

“Your user name is already taken.”

I give up

“Your user name is already taken.”

Pat, can I have a vowel?

“You cannot use .,?!#&*%”

Pat can I have a vowel

“Your user name is already taken.”

You have got to be kidding me.

“Your user name is already taken. Also, you cannot use .,?!#&*%”

Argh

“Your user name must contain at least 8 characters. Also, your user name is already taken.”

Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh

“Your user name cannot contain more than 20 characters. Also, your user name is already taken.”

Jane Curtis is editor of The Messenger.

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