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Being present

‘There’s no perfect parent, it’s about the attempt’; DHS worker highlights need for positive male role models

-Messenger photo by Chad Thompson
Don Steburg, of Fort Dodge, holds his 7-month-old boy, Koda Steburg, during a Men and Children Health Opportunities to Succeed meeting at the East Campus of Iowa Central Community College Thursday night.

Positive male role models play a critical role in a child’s development, according to Nate Conlon, a social worker for the Iowa Department of Human Services, serving Webster and Humboldt counties.

“If a father is not in the home, we know there is a greater chance of mental health problems,” Conlon said during a Men and Children Health Opportunities to Succeed meeting Thursday night.

About 14 men attended the session with their children at the East Campus of Iowa Central Community College. The program serves early Head Start and Head Start families.

According to Conlon, 90 percent of runaways nationwide come from fatherless homes.

He said 63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.

-Messenger photo by Chad Thompson
Olivia Foster, 4, of Fort Dodge, looks over her dad Cody Tacker’s work on the handprint activity during a Men and Children Health Opportunities to Succeed meeting Thursday night at the East Campus of Iowa Central Community College.

“That’s why it’s so important to have that father figure,” Conlon said. “Those stats open some eyes, but that does not mean children are doomed to fail without one.”

Conlon said of the 46 kids he currently works with, about 19 have “no male impact.”

“That’s tough,” he said.

Finding common ground with a child or just being there can make a difference, Conlon said.

“Having a conversation goes a long way,” he said. “Spending 20 minutes to read a book makes a huge difference.”

According to Conlon, it’s not about trying to be the perfect parent.

“There’s no perfect parent,” he said. “It’s about the attempt.”

Conlon said the last 10 children he’s had run away or have substance abuse issues had parents who were either incarcerated or a father who was non-existent.

“The take-away,” he said. “You guys are making a difference — just being there.”

By the numbers

90 percent of runaways are from fatherless homes

71 percent of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

Children from fatherless homes are 20 times more likely to be incarcerated

*Nate Conlon, DHS social worker

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